This is a common phrase that gaslighters use to avoid taking responsibility or being accountable for their actions, Dr. Hairston says. It leads the victim to self-doubt and question the reality of the situation, and worry about their own judgment and sanity.
Usually, instead of using specific names, gaslighters will use general terms like, “everyone thinks there’s something wrong with you” or “all our friends know you have problems.
Telling a victim that something never happened or that it occurred differently than how they remember is a covert form of gaslighting, Sarkis says. It causes someone to doubt their perceptions and feel confused.
Making you doubt your memory or reality is a covert, passive-aggressive tactic of gaslighting, Sarkis says. Telling someone that something didn’t happen is a common phrase that downplays someone’s experiences and feelings.
Discrediting a person’s opinion, personal experience, credibility or intelligence are common gaslighting tactics, explains Jennifer Douglas, Ph.D., assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine.
In romantic relationships, a gaslighter may use their partner’s love against them as a way to excuse their own bad behavior. They may also incorrectly accuse partners of cheating or causing problems in the relationship.